The conservative movement was destroyed today in a spectacular implosion of anti-matter particles and right-wing talking points, as former domestic terrorist Bill Ayers walked into an auditorium at Northwestern University at the exact same time that Reverend Jeremiah Wright was giving a keynote address to the university’s black student union:
The diverse crowd featured a large number of students, as well as a legion of members of Trinity United Church of Christ (the South Side church where Wright spoke) and a number of public figures, most notably another person whose ties to Sen. Obama got national attention: former Weather Underground member William Ayers.
The proximity of these two controversial national figures set off a chain reaction on the sub-atomic level that was felt from the Fox News studio in New York, where Sean Hannity’s head exploded then collapsed on itself live on the air, to Wasilla, Alaska, where Sarah Palin gave birth to and was immediately eaten by a silicon-based alien life form that has yet to be fully identified.
Elsewhere around the nation, observers witnessed fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!